Many people feel trapped in their life, weighed down by societal expectations, relationship patterns, and their own habits or unconscious routines. At times, people can get lost in the role they play in society, unaware of the constraints imposed upon them. But the nagging desire to be free arises again and again in various forms, whether its desire to be free from your own mind (anxiety, depression, stress, trauma), or free from society (imposed roles, expectations to be something other than what you truly are, success, ect).
Internal Family Systems (IFS), an evidence-based trauma-informed modality by Richard Schwartz, has some excellent insight into how to actually achieve this sense of inner freedom. For more in-depth clarification of the process of IFS, visit https://www.path2recovery.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/IFS_Exploring-Your-Own-System_Derek_Scott.pdf. IFS introduces the concept of our personality being made up of many parts (angry part, scared part) that are held in awareness by our core Self, which is more elusive but absolutely something that any human can connect to in their own psyche.
Why is this relevant? Let's look at an example here: if someone is deliberately trying to provoke or upset you, you can always choose to respond rather than react even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. IFS teaches you to make the shift from being blended with the part of you that is upset to observing the upset thoughts, feelings and sensations that come up instead; That is the key to finding freedom. Each activating event or trigger can be used as a tool to evoke curiosity to our own experience as well as the experiences of others so that we can approach the situation based on what the situation requires. This requires the ability to change perspectives- from seeing life through an emotional, ego-centric perspective that is externally focused to being aware of your own internal upset part. This takes work to accomplish, and is more challenging depending on past trauma, as well as how supportive (or unsupportive) your immediate environment is.
Shifting into awareness of one's own emotional reactions brings a new dimension of consciousness to the mind, which opens up more options to choose your responses rather than being at the mercy of your emotions. If we don’t have this ability to separate into the observer of our own inner world of thoughts, feelings and sensations, then we are doomed to follow the unconscious bidding of our emotions, seeing life from the perspective of anger, anxiety or depression (depending on which part is triggered at the time). Often, it can be hard to comprehend the message of anger, anxiety or depression when we feel flooded and submerged in them, almost like a fish swimming in water, not really being conscious of the water it's in.
If we are unaware, chronic negative thought patterns can slowly begin to dominate your conscious mind, affecting your feelings and behaviours, and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Depression in particular affects the physical body and energy levels, with low mood leading to low activity levels, poor sleep and diet, which creates a holistic negative impact on both physical and mental health. One way out of this frustrating cycle is to become aware of the thought patterns, physical sensations, or feelings that seem to emerge in tandem with depression, and begin to cultivate an inner detective who is curious about the emotional impact, to be on the hunt for clues about depression is a path to untangling yourself from its grasp.
You can learn how to do this with a trained IFS therapist. Becoming your own inner detective can unearth a lot of valuable material to share with your therapist, and expedite the process of re-arranging your inner system to a more functional state of being. This can have powerful implications of breaking your inner identification with your feelings, where it would begin to make more sense to say “I am aware of anxiety” or “I am curious about why I am feeling depressed this morning” instead of identifying with anxiety or depression (“I am depressed/anxious”). This is just the first step in a process of finding freedom, but it is one that every human has access to, no matter how much trauma, indoctrination or stress you have been subjected to. By shifting your strategy from being anxious and trying to solve that problem with external coping methods, like substance use, exercise, relationships or work, cultivating awareness around the anxiety can lead to inner spaciousness, more choice, and ultimately the ability to hear the origins of your own distress.
Without awareness or consciousness, an anxious person has no choice but to behave anxiously, or mask their symptoms by pushing down their true, inner experience. When awareness or consciousness of the anxiety is present, we tend to have more options, and can choose a response (self-regulation, reaching out for support) instead of reacting unconsciously. This is a simple concept, but tricky to master; it can open the door to finding freedom, and if this path is followed, you may just find out who you truly are.
Viktor Frankl (1962) writes in Man’s Search for Meaning that every human has the ability to choose their attitude and how they respond to any given situation. This is difficult to master and absolutely requires a level of dedication and commitment to doing the inner work, to prioritize and pursue the freedom to chose one’s inner attitude and response to life. And when one considers the context in which Viktor Frankl wrote these words, that choosing one’s attitude and response to a stressor in life emerged while he was locked in a concentration camp during the era of Nazi Germany, one can find the inspiration to overcome their own reactive nature. You have the ability to access the courage, confidence and clarity to know what’s best for you, all you need to do is looking within. Our team at Sacred Spaces can help you get started today.
References:
Frankl, Viktor E. (Viktor Emil), 1905-1997, author. (1962). Man's search for meaning : an introduction to logotherapy. Boston :Beacon Press,
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