Meeting Pain Where It’s At: A Journey Through Nature and Nourishment
Chronic pain isn’t just something that lives in your muscles or bones—it’s like a fire that spreads throughout your entire system, fueled by inflammation and stress. For those of us who are neurodivergent, the flames can feel even hotter, as we’re more prone to conditions that amplify this discomfort. Whether it’s fibromyalgia, migraines, or other comorbidities, it feels like parts of us are screaming on fire, demanding to be heard. But instead of fighting these signals, what if we could approach them differently? What if, instead of battling pain, we met it with the same compassion and care we give to other parts of ourselves?
Pain is a signal, just like hunger or thirst. It’s our body’s way of saying something’s out of balance. Inflammation—one of the most common triggers for pain—is the body’s natural response to protect itself. Think of it like your body’s immune system putting out warning signs, and those signs show up in the form of bio-inflammatory markers. Stress can cause these markers to flare up, setting off a chain reaction that intensifies the pain.
As neurodivergent people, this cycle might be even more amplified. Our systems can be more sensitive to external stressors, making our bodies feel like they’re constantly in fight-or-flight mode, which only worsens the inflammation and, ultimately, the pain.
Natural Ways to Address Inflammation and Pain
Addressing pain holistically involves looking at it from multiple levels, much like preparing a nourishing meal. Just as you need the right balance of ingredients to make a dish satisfying and nutritious, pain relief requires a balanced approach, addressing the body, mind, and soul. Here are some evidence-based tips:
1. Diet and Inflammation: What we eat can have a profound effect on inflammation. Anti-inflammatory foods like berries, leafy greens, and omega-3-rich foods (think salmon and walnuts) can help calm the body’s response. Just like you wouldn’t pour oil on a fire, feeding your body the right nutrients can lower inflammation and reduce pain. Always consult with your doctor before making significant changes to your diet.
2. Fluid Movement: Engaging in gentle, fluid movements is like giving your body a much-needed massage from the inside. Yoga, tai chi, or simple stretching can help improve circulation and reduce stiffness, creating more space for your body to heal. I’ve found that even on days when my pain is high, a few minutes of stretching helps open me up, like kneading dough that starts out tight and unyielding but slowly softens with the right touch.
3. Self-Somatic Massage: I often reach for magnesium and lavender oil when my shoulder pain flares up. Rubbing these into my skin feels like pouring warmth into the ache, giving my body the love and attention it needs to release the tension. Using Gua Sha on my face helps drain fluid and pain, clearing stagnation in the body’s channels. It’s like manually smoothing out the rough edges of the dough, gently but firmly.
4. Parts Work and Pain: Pain isn’t just physical—it’s often connected to emotional and psychological parts of us that feel overwhelmed or unsafe. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS), we can meet the parts of us that hold pain, like a river meeting a stream. Seamlessly, without judgment, we can let these parts flow, allowing them to be held by the Self. One aspect of being a human is having a natural aversion towards painful stimuli; noticing this default response to avoid pain, and turning towards pain with tenderness instead, can be practiced with a trained IFS therapist. When our parts feel seen and safe, they often soften, fading into the background while the Self takes the lead. It’s like watching a dough that was once tough and dry become pliable and smooth, ready to rise into something new. One of the subtle benefits of IFS is that once we build relationship with our parts and body, the pain doesn't have to get as loud.
Relating to Pain Through Metaphor: Nature and Nourishment
Nature and food are medicine to me and I’ve found that using the metaphors of nature and food can help shift how we think about pain. The experience of pain is like dough—it’s resistant at first, but with gentle kneading, it starts to relax. You can’t rush it; you have to work with it, allowing it to soften at its own pace.
Similarly, pain needs to be met like a river meeting a stream—effortlessly, without resistance. When we fight against it, the current becomes turbulent, but when we flow with it, there’s a harmony that emerges. This is where mindfulness and self-compassion come into play. Meeting pain where it’s at means approaching it without judgment, allowing it to flow through you rather than blocking it with fear or frustration.
Sometimes, pain feels like the jelly in the donut of my body. On the outside, it’s sticky, messy, and I want nothing to do with it. But when I go deeper, I find that jelly, that dark, mysterious goop. And the more I get curious and meet it with compassion, the more it reveals. I realize that this dark, intense layer of pain softens—just like jelly when it’s finally enveloped by the donut, or like wrapping my arms around myself. That dark goop becomes something less intimidating, something familiar. And in its own strange way, it becomes almost sweet, a reminder that my body is the first to let me know when something’s off. It’s like having a trustworthy best friend who lives inside me, sending gentle (and sometimes not-so-gentle) messages. What if we all saw the pain within us as a friend who’s looking out for us, instead of something to resist or ignore? The sweetness of the jelly is its message: pain asks for our attention, it signals that something in us needs care, healing, or soothing.
And just like antibacterial honey, meeting pain with the right tools can sting at first. But trust the process—over time, honey works its magic. It’s sweet and sticky, but it’s also incredibly healing. Pain is much the same. The process of healing may not always feel good in the moment, but over time, as you meet it with compassion, you begin to train your brain and body to relate to it differently.
Building a New Relationship with Pain
Framing pain as sweet can be a tough pill to swallow, and clash with the typical experience of pain. But bear with this analogy for a moment longer; your body is not out to get you. Pain is a message that something inside needs attending to, not an attempt for your body to punish you or knock you down a peg. It is literally the only way your body can communicate to you but when you've been taught to go against your body, pain can feel like another contender that needs to be over-come. In certain illnesses where the perception of pain gets blocked or altered, people tend to have a harder time taking care of themselves with the steady reminder of pain. We need to learn to attune to the non-verbal messages of pain while supporting it from all sides: physically (with a bolster, pain-patches), somatically (gentle touch, massage, stroking motions), emotionally (validating the pain, crying, connecting to others) and even spiritually (remembering the transience of our human experience and that You can learn how to be with and transmute this pain into something healing).
In the long run, we can build a new relationship with pain, just like we build relationships with people or places. It doesn’t have to be our enemy. It can be something we learn from, something we understand. With the right nourishment—whether it’s through diet, movement, massage, or parts work—we can transform our relationship to pain from something we fear to something we care for. This multi-faceted process yields healing, but just like making honey, it takes time. In the end, though, it’s good to have in your stash—it’s sweet and oh so good for you.
References
1. Sullivan, M. J., et al. (2001). Theoretical perspectives on the relation between catastrophizing and pain. The Clinical Journal of Pain, 17(1), 52-64.
2. Kabat-Zinn, J. (2013). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Bantam.
3. Schubiner, H., & Betzold, B. (2016). Unlearn Your Pain: A 28-day process to reprogram your brain. MindBody Publishing.
4. Geneen, L. J., et al. (2017). Physical activity and exercise for chronic pain in adults: an overview of Cochrane Reviews. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, (4).
5. Wren, A. A., et al. (2012). Self-compassion in patients with persistent musculoskeletal pain: Relationship of self-compassion to adjustment to chronic pain. Journal of Pain and Symptom Management, 43(4), 759-770.
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